The following question was asked in a major University chemistry examination paper. The answer by one student was so 'profound', that the professor shared it with his colleagues, via the internet, which is of course, why we now all have the pleasure of enjoying it too:

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students used Boyle's Law to substantiate their viewpoint (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are entering Hell and the rate at which they are leaving it. I believe that we can safely assume that once a soul arrives in Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions which have the same doctrine and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.


2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?


If we accept the assertion given to me by Sarah during my first year that, 'It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,' and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The consequence of this theory is that if Hell has frozen over, it follows that it will not be accepting any more souls and is therefore extinct which leaves only Heaven and thereby proving the existence of a divine being, which explains why, last night, Sarah kept shouting 'Oh my God'.

This student received an A+.